I have introduced a new concept for a forum discussion about a suggested topic here in yahoo 360. The response has been over whelming and the first topic has been chosen.
The Topic chosen was submitted by The Brave Sanakaran and it has turned out to be a wonderful introduction to what I hope will be a regular post on my 360 Blog.
The Post below Beauty and the Beast has introduced you all to the concept and now without further delay and before the original start date I am happy to announce our panel.
The panel consists of one beastie man and four beautiful ladies.
Our Beauties Are:
Pia an author amongst other careers of her choice and an out spoken 360 blogger .
Shail a Home Management Specialist and Home Technician which is her chosen profession.
Sharon W a highly regarded campaigner for human rights especially in the country where she now resides and also a prolific 360 blogger.
Yobbo Mate controversial author and just what we need . A Beastie.
- svell The Topic: What kind of a Career suits women?
Good idea! Here's what I want a discussion on:
"What kind of a Career suits women?"
This question is now relevant to me as my daughter has finished her Class 12, and moves into her Graduation phase. She has decided against Engineering or medicine (as is the normal tendency here these days), but she was planning on a career in Pure Physics. Now she has second thoughts, and I do not want to impose my thoughts on her.
I do feel that a woman's career is her SECOND 'career', as home-making always takes precedence at some time in their life, and a full-time demanding profession interferes with this. Or the other way- either way, leading to a compromise in one of the two 'careers'.
Now that you've provided a forum here, I'd be glad to see what many of you lady friends of mine have to say- and it will help my daughter think through this.
"What kind of a Career suits women?"
This question is now relevant to me as my daughter has finished her Class 12, and moves into her Graduation phase. She has decided against Engineering or medicine (as is the normal tendency here these days), but she was planning on a career in Pure Physics. Now she has second thoughts, and I do not want to impose my thoughts on her.
I do feel that a woman's career is her SECOND 'career', as home-making always takes precedence at some time in their life, and a full-time demanding profession interferes with this. Or the other way- either way, leading to a compromise in one of the two 'careers'.
Now that you've provided a forum here, I'd be glad to see what many of you lady friends of mine have to say- and it will help my daughter think through this.
An addition to Sankaran's original question.
Women (especially now) in India have ALL the choices they want. If anything, the problem is one of plenty. And no one, yes, no one stops any one from a career just because she is a woman, or she has an ovary...
Woman is respected, revered and worshipped, besides being loved. This is clear...
The question is- Are there any observations from those many here who HAVE taken up career decisions EITHER WAY- some like Shail, Sabiha etc. I know are highly qualified, and could have adorned ANY job of their choice , chose being home-makers. And some here like Adoremouse , Arfana etc. have opted for serious careers.
There must be experiences, either way, that can help younger ones think through this issue.
And that is my question.
(Please remember that I have many women associates at work, highly respected professionals, and I have no bias against women working- (or non-working- as Shail often says!))
Woman is respected, revered and worshipped, besides being loved. This is clear...
The question is- Are there any observations from those many here who HAVE taken up career decisions EITHER WAY- some like Shail, Sabiha etc. I know are highly qualified, and could have adorned ANY job of their choice , chose being home-makers. And some here like Adoremouse , Arfana etc. have opted for serious careers.
There must be experiences, either way, that can help younger ones think through this issue.
And that is my question.
(Please remember that I have many women associates at work, highly respected professionals, and I have no bias against women working- (or non-working- as Shail often says!))
It is one of the biggest decisions a woman makes. In the present world women have been contributing magnificently in all sectors of economy. They are very good doctors, engineers, planners, activist, journalist etc. But, whether or not they perform equally good in their marital lives is a big question. In the Victorian period women worked to become what they had been taught by society was their job. Husbands went off to work and expected their wives to do all the things their mothers had done for them. Cook, clean take care of the kids and always look like a doll all at the same time. Women are not seen solely as child bearers anymore. They are now free to take on any profession that a man can and this includes housewife/husband. They are becoming highly educated and therefore seen as more respectable. Women seem to marry now for love and physical attraction. Women are more- equal partners in marriage than in the past. In a lot of cases the majority of married women start a career to assist with financial expenses. In this day and age it is not economical for a woman not to work in some cases. I am not saying that all should work either. It is important
that if you are raising children to ensure they have the best of both because that is a responsibility you take on. Husbands are able to do an equal share as a lot of companies now offer the flexibility for this.
Women should decide for themselves,.
Women should decide for themselves,.
Pia's Response:
This is quite an interesting question and it almost begs the question, €œWhat do you mean a career that suits a woman in return. Experts in the field would classify this type of question that breaks down a job into categories suitable for a man or woman as Sex Stereotyping.
What IS sex stereotyping? According to research conducted by the UK Equal Opportunities Commission, in a report entitled, Young People and Sex Stereotyping: Sex Stereotyping is making assumptions that men and women should play different roles in society. This is advised against for a number of valid reasons, including:
*Restriction of individual choice;
*Which leads to wasted talents and unfulfilled potential;
*Creates gaps in skills;
*As well as lower paying jobs for those seen as 'womens work.'
In short, sex stereotyping results in "discrimination for both men and women.
It's imperative that young people have the freedom to explore a range of career opportunities (doubly so for women who are often discriminated against because they are of child bearing years and this is seen as a liability by some companies). I think that parents ought to encourage their daughters in the same way that they encourage their sons to take advantage of the FULL spectrum of life choices that are available to them regardless of sex. When it comes to career choice, daughters should be encouraged to choose something that they think will satisfy them through ALL the stages they may go through in life INCLUDING motherhood. There are no either or scenarios in the modern world. Indeed, women have been juggling work and home far longer and far better than men and are well equipped to multitask and prioritize what matters most in their lives - be that work or family (or work AND family). I think what's needful is for daughters to understand that they are more limited by their personal preferences than their gender or the burdens thereof.
So to answer your question the career that'€™s suitable for your daughter is the one that will see her and sustain her throughout the different facets of her life. There is nothing unsuitable for her, but that which she decides is unsuitable. It€'s well that you aren't making up her mind for her and I'€™m assuming that she's asking for your opinion. What I suggest is that you help her explore her options for both short and long term, and help her understand that she may change her mind. The person she is now is not the person she will be five years from now. And as long as she knows she has options she will be as well equipped as she can be to handle all the stages of her life.
And let me add that some women choose to work* or build a career and NOT have kids, some work or build a career THROUGHOUT pregnancy and childrearing, and some SWITCH their career TO childrearing. Some women even choose to tend home and children without working or career building at all. All those choices are valid and it's up to each individual woman to pick which option suits her best.
*working here means in a business of some sort where wages are exchanged for time punched.
Shail
Now coming to Shankaran's statement, "a woman's career is her SECOND 'career', as home-making always takes precedence at some time in their life, and a full-time demanding profession interferes with this." Hmmm..it depends, doesn't it?? Why should a woman's career be her 'second' one?? Why should it be assumed that she should be the one who should give that precedence to 'home-making'?? She should be free to see her career as first choice if she so wishes and let homemaking take a second position. It is true that if/when she decides to start a family, she will have to spare some time for the child. Other than that there should be nothing that should deter her from following whatever goal she has set for herself. And whether she wants to be a mother or not should also be left to her. It is a myth that just because women give birth they are most suited for bringing up children as also looking after home. If you really get down to it ‘and take a survey, you'll find that a staggering number (in India) would rather not!! You will find some rare aberrations like me who enjoy their homemaking duties and are content to be just that, in spite of having qualifications for a career outside home!! Well, I will add Sabiha too to that list of rare persons!! :-)
My reply to Sankaran...
HHmmmm, What stops a man being the homemaker? Just because the woman carries the child and delivers it, does not mean she is necessarily the best for that job, or indeed, that she even wants to do that job/role to begin with. Equal opportunities for woman was something that came into being when I was young, but when I left school and college, it was very much a fledgling idea and women went into one of two things, either directly to motherhood and being a homemaker, or to a very female orientated job. And I say job, because even just 30 years ago, we were not encouraged to have a career, but something to tide us over until the right man came along and impregnated us. Roles such as typists, shop workers, nurses etc. I hated that view then, and I still don't sit comfortably with it now. I wish I could have had the chance of a real career back then and not seccumbed to the whole thing of woman being at home. I began to find my feet on the career ladder after I'd had children, but often felt very envious of those who could put it first in their lives, where they could devote more time to personal and professional development, I had the tougher role in many aspects as I was balancing the two and it wasn't until I left the marital home with my 16 yo in tow, that I could really focus on moving up the ladder, but even then, it was not a level playing field and it was very hard to compete. Women have the choice now, and they have every right to make their choice and parents should support them whatever route the off spring chooses to take, it is the offspring forming their own niche in life, and as such, the parents can only guide, but must stand back and allow the offspring to make their own decisions and to allow them the freedoms to move forward, even to the extent of allowing them to make mistakes, as those they make themselves, will be the ones they learn from.
Sacrifices have to be made whichever route is taken, but the question need to be considered very carefully as to which is sacrificed.. children grow up and do leave the home, leaving the woman with hopefully many years of productive working before retirement, if she has been allowed to have a career and to build it effectivley, sacrificing having children until later, or handing them back to the partner who may stay at home, she has something she can often pick up and continue building on throughout her life, there is too much emphasis on the woman being the nuturer, it can equally be a man...it all rests on who is best at the role between the couple, and who has the better career prospects and earning potential, it is not a cut and dried role assignement due to sexual identity
HHmmmm, What stops a man being the homemaker? Just because the woman carries the child and delivers it, does not mean she is necessarily the best for that job, or indeed, that she even wants to do that job/role to begin with. Equal opportunities for woman was something that came into being when I was young, but when I left school and college, it was very much a fledgling idea and women went into one of two things, either directly to motherhood and being a homemaker, or to a very female orientated job. And I say job, because even just 30 years ago, we were not encouraged to have a career, but something to tide us over until the right man came along and impregnated us. Roles such as typists, shop workers, nurses etc. I hated that view then, and I still don't sit comfortably with it now. I wish I could have had the chance of a real career back then and not seccumbed to the whole thing of woman being at home. I began to find my feet on the career ladder after I'd had children, but often felt very envious of those who could put it first in their lives, where they could devote more time to personal and professional development, I had the tougher role in many aspects as I was balancing the two and it wasn't until I left the marital home with my 16 yo in tow, that I could really focus on moving up the ladder, but even then, it was not a level playing field and it was very hard to compete. Women have the choice now, and they have every right to make their choice and parents should support them whatever route the off spring chooses to take, it is the offspring forming their own niche in life, and as such, the parents can only guide, but must stand back and allow the offspring to make their own decisions and to allow them the freedoms to move forward, even to the extent of allowing them to make mistakes, as those they make themselves, will be the ones they learn from.
Sacrifices have to be made whichever route is taken, but the question need to be considered very carefully as to which is sacrificed.. children grow up and do leave the home, leaving the woman with hopefully many years of productive working before retirement, if she has been allowed to have a career and to build it effectivley, sacrificing having children until later, or handing them back to the partner who may stay at home, she has something she can often pick up and continue building on throughout her life, there is too much emphasis on the woman being the nuturer, it can equally be a man...it all rests on who is best at the role between the couple, and who has the better career prospects and earning potential, it is not a cut and dried role assignement due to sexual identity
Two More Beauties Added their comments
Adore
My feelings around career paths these days are very strong. Having watched my own brood struggle through the schoolcollegeUniversity system, being forced to make choices at 14 as to what they want to do when they grow up!
For me choice of career is about what suits anyone at any particular time of their life. Enormous choices such as these which affect the rest of their lives cannot be life limiting. What might appeal at 14 may not necessarily appeal at 40. We organisms of continuous growth and change, so putting ourselves in a "job box" seems crazy.
As to the idea that women have to be careful because their *priority* is to produce children and look after the home - well that is a choice that only a woman can make FOR HERSELF. In my own experience, whether I liked it or not my body clock started calling to me around the age of 30 and I wanted to start a family, so I chose to take a two year break to have my kids, then went back to part time work, until the age of 45 when I went back full time. All this was a choice I made for myself, not something imposed by any outside agency or pressure from my husband.
The more you try to pressure her to squeeze into your mould the more anxious she will become. Give her a little gentle listening - and allow her the space for her own inner wisdom to come to the fore. Excuse me for responding AGAIN - I'm being a rebel, and I want to put in my penn'orth as I will be away.
We all have choices to make at diferent time in our lives. I am aware that we tried to encourage our children to go for subjects which most met their "bliss" - the work that they enjoyed and wanted to do, rather than what looked like "should" be done.
That was the route I took as a young woman, Dad suggested that working as a secretary was a good idea, so I did that and went to work in London. I guess the organisational part of me (eventually) enjoyed the work of PA - and that only came to the fore in the last ten years. As a young woman I hate shorthand and typing and was very much more interested in the artcraft - and that part of me was always suppressed until now.
Age (and self awareness) brings the benefits of understanding who I am - in all my parts and what those parts need to feel fulfilled. I had always been a loving listener - an empath - so my journey into counselling seems to be inevitable. Who knows, I might even take it further and study to become a psychotherapist - but one step at a time. The part of me that loves creativity is also blessed because I can use my creativity within Gestalt counselling which is, a creative therapy - using music, art, poetry, dreams, clay, stories - many things...
so in short I guess I am saying that self awareness of who I am in all my parts has eventually allowed me to find my "bliss" - and this isn't necessarily something that is available at a young age. There is no hurry to find an ideal, you can't push a river,you can only go with its flow, whatever feels "OK" at the time will be OK FOR THAT TIME, but may not be forever, and change is always possible...
thats it, said my say..
Now.. to answer to Sankaran Uncle's topic -
What is an ideal career for a woman? To On the same lines as how Adoremouse has commented in here. Why not we leave it for the woman to decide? It all depends upon the current situation she is in and what she feels is right to do. And what she LIKES. Not just run with the herd. [wait she can run if that is what she wants!].
Women are now stepping up to almost any career path they want. I would suggest you sit with your daughter, and chat open minded about your concerns of her chopping and changing in career choice, and then during the conversation gently ease in your thoughts, but do not react if she rejects them. Remember, its her choice, not yours. So be gentle, guide her, not lead her, and you will find that she will forever honour her father.......
2nd. yair, I know ya want me on ya beast bench........lmao..
Ok then.........
No comments:
Post a Comment