Thursday, May 31, 2007

Beauties and Beasties Blogging Number 5 ~ Can A Long Distance Relationship Last The distance?

The Topic is "Can a long distance relationship last the distance?" What is needed to keep the flames of love burning brightly?

Daniela's Response

I feel I have some title to respond to this stimulating discussion topic. My very personal experience tells me that love, or infatuation, or whatever you want to call it, can survive distances for very, very long periods, like some idealised prehistoric dinosaur eggs that are
only waiting for the ideal conditions for hatching, and when they do, the newborn beings are just as sprightly and lively as they come.

It probably depends on the individual. Some people have very long staying power, unshakeable passions they simply can't file old memories away. I'm one of those. I had a passion that lasted thirty years, which was  €˜killed off by a this new one, something I would never thought could be possible.

I kept this flame secretly burning for 30 years and suddenly a new one started burning more brightly. All I can say is that the first flame had survived even though there was never a reciprocation of feelings, whereas the new one is flaring with total, amazing responsiveness. Now I can not think of the first one anymore, I'€™m living for this new one. Do I have a recipe for not letting it run out of fuel? I'€™m not certain, but I think that a little physicality is necessary. That is, without the senses, romantic love withers. Touching, seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting the beloved creates a bond that's difficult to break. It does no€™t have to be a highly frequent occurrence, but it has to happen, in order not to forget what you have experienced, although the memories sometimes heighten one's sensual awareness.

I was able to live on memories for thirty years; now with the new, much more prolonged and intense experiences I have had I am pretty sure I can go on savouring the remembrances for time immemorial. Of course it is not only memories I am thriving on, but hope and planning as well. My lover and I are planning our future together, exchanging lots of written words (emails, snail mail, text messages), as well as spoken words (phone). Our words are fuelling our feelings and keeping the intimacy alive. We are both extremely passionate: desire and lust are essential aspects of our relationship, and we express them also through the exchange of hard-core erotica we write for each other.

Another way of keeping the flame alive, although not one that I feel like suggesting, is the exchange of personal erotic pictures/home movies. You can never be 100% your partner is not going to show or broadcast them or that he won't blackmail you with them, should the relationship turn sour. But they certainly provide plenty of excitement.

This is my personal opinion, and I am sure there are lot more ways to keep love alive.

Di's Response

I honestly believe that any kind of relationship can work; whether it is long distance or right next door. Long distance seems to get a bad rap. I’ve been in a long distance relationship before and it was not as horrible as one might think.

People can be living with a significant other and feel just as lonely or detached as a long distance encounter.

I don’t think the distance has anything to do with it. It is the amount of dedication and resolve the individuals have in making the relationship work. A long distance can be viewed as absence makes the heart grow fonder or €œout of sight, out of mind! It's a matter of keeping those lines of communication open, respect, consideration, understanding, knowing the person well enough not to fall into the jealousy trap, and trusting what might be communicated is true. It sounds like any relationship, right?

Heather's Response

Yes, I think that if you both have your heart in it anything is possible.

Just passing Memorial Day, the first thing that comes to mind, are those relationships and families out there a part of the Military going through this very thing right now.

Any relationship that you commit to is going to be something that you work on constantly, whether you are in the same household, 15 minutes down the road from each other, or several thousand miles apart.

I think it takes communication, and trust

Our Beast Yobbo Replies

Do long distance love affairs survive???

Of course they do!!!!
I have one myself, and I am waiting for the day when my Princess is in my arms forever.
We have declared our love for each other; we exchange wonderful e-mails, text messages and even the odd phone call, in which we re-affirm our love, on a daily basis.
Oh, yes, I have heard all you sceptics and what you have to say, that it wont work, well, why, unless you can speak from experience, shut the hell up, and mind your own P's and Q's, coz I don'€™t want to hear them.
I have a good friend, whose girlfriend lived on the other side of the world, from him, they are happily married now.
I am really happy within myself, since declaring my love to my Princess, and so is she.
But our daily communications keep us going, and we have no doubts about where we are headed........
A lot depends upon ones attitude, as to whether a long distance love works, it is a test of ones commitment, a test of ones love, and it gives ones relationship the strength to endure anything......
It also tests out ones ability to remain monogamous.
I don'€™t feel the need to go and play the field, I just chat to my Princess, and wait.......wait for the day, when she will be in my arms forever...........
Yes, there are those that fall apart, but that’s because the commitment's not there to begin with.......
And the communication wanes.....
And then the love slowly dies within.... but we overcome that, with honesty, excellent communication, ant the courage to stay committed.
One of the reasons one third of marriages end up in the divorce court, is because the young people these days use marriage as security, and don’t really know each other too well. They are confusing LUST with LOVE, and are unable to separate the two.
So do long distance romances go the distance????Of course they do.....
Sheesh, what a dumb question.....
So, my advice is go for it, it can only strengthen the relationship, two fold.
So, there you go, the beasties opinion.......

This discussion promises to be a very good one indeed. The responses above are heartfelt and honest and I thank : Dani, Di, Heather and Yobbo for taking part in this BBB panel. The discussion as always continues in the comments section below with all from the 360 circle welcome to share their own responses to this topic. I have marked this particular post as mature audience. . Now let the Discussion begin.
Milli 2007


  1. Thanks to all who have read this post. I think it is time for me to start this series again soon!

  2. Would any of my Friends here like me to start this Series up again?

  3. I apppreciate your idea, Milli! However, I'm not sure whether I have enough free time to take part regularly... May you have a good start of the week!