Milli's! Old is Gold Jokes!

To lighten up what has been a heavy week, I decided to share an email with some very funny Age Related Jokes. So! without further Adieu, Lets' have a good old Belly Laugh.

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the
very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98,"
she replied. "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the
undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is
it?

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you
think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She
simply replied, "No peer pressure."

I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip
replacement, new knees Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm
half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40
different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to
blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly
feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's
license.

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my
doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I
decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted,
gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by
the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher
she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and
second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal- Mart. "Wal-Mart?"
the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?" "Then I'll be sure my
daughters visit me twice a week "

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter
eggs.

It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not
as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing.

--- THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the
people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones
I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Old is Gold

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