Starting this post out with a few Maxinism's.
Did Maxine invent the eat out Baked Potato?
Maxine takes the mickey outta Everything and Everyone and I even know a Maxine too, in the photo by the potato van, but she is much sweeter.
Love these cartoons from Hallmark's John Wagner.
Created in 1986 Maxine soon became an icon and continues until this day although realistically speaking she would be now a crotchety older lady in her eighties, with plenty of Attitude non the less.
Oh Don't Laugh this is a fact, I was in the Chemist this week and the girls were unpacking all the Christmas decorations..I will take Maxine's advice here LOL.
You can see more of Maxine Here
I have emails sent to me and lately there have been some very funny ones in my in-box, so I decided to share the Fun! LOL. Hope you get a few laughs too.
This is a funny Blonde Joke for a change..
A blonde is watching the news with her
husband when the newscaster says
"Two Brazilian men died in a skydiving accident yesterday."
The blonde starts sobbing and says "That's so horrible!! So many men dying that way!"
Confused, he says, "Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and
there's always a risk involved."
After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, asks,
"Exactly how many is a brazillion?”
~~~~~~~~~~~
Blonde's Payback
A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, "I
want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and pair of running boards."
The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?"
"No," the cook said. "Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of
headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices of
crisp bacon."
"Oh, OK!" said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then
spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.
The trucker asked, "What are the beans for, Blondie?"
I LOVE THIS ONE...........
She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards,
you might as well gas up!"
FOR ONCE THE BLONDE GETS EVEN!
~~~~~~~~~~~
An elderly gentleman....
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to
the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a
set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and
the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be
really pleased that you can hear again.'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'
~~~~~~~~~
Grandma and Grandpa were visiting
their kids overnight.
When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in
his son's medicine cabinet, he asked
about using one of the pills.
The son said, "I don't think you should
take one Dad; they're very strong
and very expensive."
"How much?" asked Grandpa.
"£10.00 a pill," Answered the son.
"I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to
try one, and before we leave in the
morning, I'll put the money
under the pillow."
Later the next morning, the son found
£110 under the pillow. He called
Grandpa and said, "I told
you each pill was
£10, not £110.
"I know," said Grandpa. "The
hundred is from
Grandma!"
Please feel free to share a good clean joke here if you wish....I am off now to make those Christmas Pressies...nah.. I think I will have a cuppa instead.
Enjoy!
These are too good - ROLF!
ReplyDeleteSorry I messed up the font colours Jack am working on them now LOL..Maxine's Curse I think.
ReplyDeleteThese are very funny, MIlli! LMAO!!! But I think the blonde who gets even is a real doozie! LOL1
ReplyDeleteBy the way, the "brazillion" blonde's hsuband wasn't too swift either, was he? Maybe he was a blonde, TOO!!!! LMAO!!!
ReplyDeleteLOL and Teri you do have a point there LOL..
ReplyDeletelmao now ive got a smile going milli...love the blond and the deaf guy jokes
ReplyDeleteThank you for the laughs.
ReplyDeleteMonkeys With Cold Water.
How Things Work in Real Life
Start with a cage containing five.
Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it.
Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana.
As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water.
After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water.
Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.
Now, put away the cold water.
Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one.
The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs.
To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him.
After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one.
The newcomer goes to the stairs and is
The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm!
Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth.
Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked.
Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs
or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.
After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water.
Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana.
Why not?
Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done around here.
And that, my friends, is how a company policy begins.
sounds like US government to me
ReplyDeleteohh my..lol
ReplyDeletelol...lol....nice ones mills...
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laughs!
ReplyDeleteNice ones Milli
ReplyDeleteHi millimusings
ReplyDeletePraise the Lord,
Nice to hear your information to your stand,Thus with God's power nothing refuses,
I invite you to my Multiply Site,
May i have your e-mail
God bless you.
Pr Charles .B
P.o.Box 44 Mukono
Uganda
+256-752938748
LOL!Thanks!
ReplyDeleteLOL..oh Millie I needed these....
ReplyDeleteI like Maxine.
ReplyDeleteLoved the Viagara one....he he he he .....
ReplyDeleteTwo old men, sittin on a bench at the nursin home, and one says...
"I feel lousy today, my athritis is playin up....how're you feelin?"
"Oh, like a new born baby..."
"Why's that?"
"My teeth are non-existant, I'm bald, and I think I just pee'd myself".......
Garage Door
ReplyDeleteThe boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his
zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant
walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your
house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he
knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office
puzzled by the question.
As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was
open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's
question about his 'garage door.'
He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to
ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer
parked in there?'
She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old mini
van with two flat tires..
LOL those WERE funny! Thanks for the laughs!
ReplyDeleteI liked Viagra and the Beans jokes the best...
This started off my day right. Still lol at grandma. Hugs.............
ReplyDeleteMy wife laughed at this.
ReplyDelete"I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma!"
Typical. lol
Do they make them for women?
ReplyDelete*still laughing* thank you :).
hehe thanks for the funnies
ReplyDeleteHi praise the lord.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the prayers and also serving our God's work.
May i have your e-mail?
God bless you
Pr Charles .B
P.o.Box 44 Mukono
Uganda